


comfort crowd you can always count

by headedling



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alchemy exists, Angst, Edward Elric Swears, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I DONT MAKE THE RULES, Idiots in Love, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Mutual Pining, Texting, additional tags are so funny, also i hate capitalized letters, basically rating teen and up is for cussing, but the sins aren't homunculus, chatfic, ed is into astronomy, ed is questioning his sexuality, everyone is a part of the alphabet community, i wanted to mention my fav fma03 character but i made him evil, im trying my best at humor, it aint working doe, let 'em be normal teenagers 2020, not sure yet - Freeform, pan alphonse elric, probably, slow burn but make it fast, the first tag is angst but dont worry its gonna be fine, they ruin the aesthetic, when i say modern i mean they have internet, which leads us to
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24612946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headedling/pseuds/headedling
Summary: Ling Yao comes to Amestris to study its history. his hosts are Elrics, the usual family of a history professor. turns out, Ling isn’t here just for the history, and Elrics aren’t just an ordinary family.lemme add a little bit of "spice" to that - *adds gayness and diplomatic crisis*
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Van Hohenheim, Alphonse Elric/Greed, Edward Elric/Ling Yao, Lan Fan & Ling Yao, Paninya/Winry Rockbell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the title is inspired by conan gray's song "comfort crowd"
> 
> it doesn't have any connection to the plot i just love this song so much
> 
> also this chatfic has an actual plot so,, enjoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people just want edward to start fucking talking to people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mr. ho(e) - van hohenheim  
> halfmetal - edward  
> pure angel - alphonse
> 
> edward hatebot - winry  
> found myself a mechanic - paninya 
> 
> make xing gay again - ling  
> lego ninjago - lan fan

_[ **disaster of a family™** chat]_

  
mr. ho(e): Sons, do you remember that today is the day our exchange student is coming to Amestris? Please, be at home at 6pm for a dinner with him.

mr.ho(e): And Edward, please dont be a pain in the ass.

  
  
halfmetal: so

halfmetal: what does that bastard look like again?

  
  
mr. ho(e): Language, Edward.

  
  
halfmetal: do i look like i care?

  
  
_mr. ho(e) sent a pic to the chat_

mr. ho(e): Like this.

  
  
halfmetal: yep i found him

halfmetal: hes trying to steal a chocolate bar

  
  
pure angel: wHAT

halfmetal: ye im shocked too

mr. ho(e): Edward, are u sure that’s our guy?

  
  
halfmetal: yea

halfmetal: should i stop him?

pure angel: U STILL HAVENT?!?

halfmetal: idk thats so funny to watch

halfmetal: i can basically see his braincells working overtime. hes like OH SHOULD I STEAL and NOO I SHOULDNT IM A DECENT MAN

mr. ho(e): Edward.

pure angel: pls stop him

pure angel: ed?

pure angel: mister edward?

pure angel: mister edwaard?

halfmetal: oh my fucking god im not fucking dead

halfmetal: so he was in process of hiding that poor bar in his sleeve when i put my hand on his shoulder and said “u crossed the desert for THIS, ling yao?”

pure angel: ed thats so-

  
  
halfmetal: THE LOOK ON HIS FACE

halfmetal: if he had nine lives like a cat he would lose eight of them at that very moment  
  


mr. ho(e): Son, I’ve asked u about one ONE thing!

halfmetal: ye ye dont bully that boy blah blah

  
  
mr. ho(e): It’s not that hard edward,

mr. ho(e): It’s not.

  
  
halfmetal: we’ll talk as soon as u turn off auto-caps that bitch is ugly

halfmetal: also LOOK i bought him some food? dont make me look evil

halfmetal: after all it was MY money i WASTED on him and i doubt i ever get a refund

halfmetal: we are heading home

halfmetal: is anyone there yet?

mr. ho(e): im still in the library, need to finish reading this book today.

halfmetal: good to see no capitalized letters

  
pure angel: im at greeds and tbh i never planned to go home any soon

halfmetal: ok- wAIT

halfmetal: so i have to spend NEXT THREE HOURS WITH THIS LING PERSON ALL ALONE??? WHAT THE FUCK

mr. ho(e): EDWARD ELRIC

  
  
halfmetal: I HAVE ALL THE RIGHTS TO BE DISAPPOINTED?!?! THE BITCH IS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT WHO CAME TWO MONTHS EARLIER TO STUDY WITH Y O U AND ITS M E WHO HAS TO BABYSIT HIM RN?

mr. ho(e): just show him our house, please?

halfmetal: ITS LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES LONG BUSINESS?!? WHAT ELSE WE GON DO?!?

mr. ho(e): you are a prodigy, figure that out.

halfmetal: bruh u owe me big time hohenheim

pure angel: good luck brother!

halfmetal: gÖøD lÛčK bRÕtHėR my ass

_[ **le squad** chat]_

edward hatebot: heyoo boys

edward hatebot: yall are so quiet im scared

found myself a mechanic: the exchange student killed them methinks

edward hatebot: PANINYA WHAT THE MOTHERLOVING FUCK

halfmetal: we are alive jeez

halfmetal: we just had to do some organizing stuff like find a place for this bitch to sleep etc

pure angel: ye we are good

edward hatebot: oo nice

edward hatebot: so how it all went?

halfmetal: not bad? i mean i ran into ling when he tried to steal a chocolate bar but it was okay

pure angel: hes lying

pure angel: it all went AMAZING

pure angel: turns out our ling is constellation stan first human second too!

pure angel: when i got home they were sitting in eds room and talking like best friends forever

found myself a mechanic: omg marriage when

halfmetal: fuck both of you

halfmetal: ling is still an idiot but at least i know what i can talk to him about

edward hatebot: omggg im so glad you guys are getting along

edward hatebot: its time for you to actually talk to people ed

halfmetal: nooo dont start this conversation

found myself a mechanic: u do know we are just worried right? and we want u to be happy

halfmetal: paninya ur phone got hacked

found myself a mechanic: shut up freak u know i care about u

halfmetal: im so scared for my life

pure angel: guys he looks like hes about to cry

halfmetal: aLPHONSE SHUT UR MOUTH THATS NOT TRUE

_edward hatebot changed their name to edward lovebot_

edward lovebot: u dumbass deserve the very best pls ily bitch xx

found myself a mechanic: i second every single word

halfmetal: aww love you too idiots

halfmetal: wait-

pure angel: what

halfmetal: u heard that too right?

pure angel: no-

_[ **private message** between halfmetal and pure angel]_

halfmetal: ling is in the next room?

pure angel: ye? whats up?

halfmetal: idk for a second it sounded like someone was crying

halfmetal: probably misheard it since you haven’t heard anything

pure angel: damn i hope so

_[ **edward elric support squad he doesn’t need to know about** chat]_

edward lovebot: al

found myself a mechanic: alphonseeee

pure angel: ye ye i remember

pure angel: but ive told you everything already

pure angel: hes getting along with ling

pure angel: well it seems like it

edward lovebot: good

found myself a mechanic: fank god i thought he decided to never talk to people again

found myself a mechanic: i mean ye i know he has some reasons but still

edward lovebot: i hate that hes the one to go through it like honestly sometimes i wish that was me

edward lovebot: his stubbornness doesn’t help him to get over shit

pure angel: i hate that for my brother too (

found myself a mechanic: that ling boy. is he good?

pure angel: so far he seems fine. i hope that if my brother makes friends with him ling won’t suddenly turn into a monster

pure angel: tho im surprised ed was the one to start talking with ling you know

found myself a mechanic: it doesn’t matter if they are friends tho. ling will live with you for the next five months he MUST be decent so edward doesn’t feel bad

found myself a mechanic: i still dont get why hohenheim agreed to take this student

pure angel: my dad is a different breed guys cmon

pure angel: maybe he was like TIME FOR ED TO SHINE but most likely he just did it bc thats just how he is

pure angel: inscrutable

found myself a mechanic: true

edward lovebot: hoping and praying eds gonna be fine

pure angel: amen.

_[ **private message** between make xing gay again and lego ninjago]_

make xing gay again: lan fan

make xing gay again: u here?

lego ninjago: oo hEY U GOT WIFI

lego ninjago: missed u bitch

make xing gay again: ME TOO THE FUCK

make xing gay again: I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL U

lego ninjago: omgg spill the tea sis

make xing gay again: so. first of all remember that pipsqueak on elrics family photo?

lego ninjago: ye

make xing gay again: he caught me stealing a bar of chocolate

lego ninjago: i- no words head empty

make xing gay again: yeye i know. i was trying to hide that bar in my sleeve when he put his hand on my shoulder and said

make xing gay again: U CROSSED A DESERT FOR THIS LING YAO?

make xing gay again: i think for a second i saw that notorious light at the end

make xing gay again: anyway. i thought there would be a scolding scene but nah he just got that grumpy look and told me to get whatever i want to eat and he bought me it?

lego ninjago: omg u found sugar daddy

make xing gay again: NOOOO

lego ninjago: why would u steal food doe? i thought we gave u enough money?

make xing gay again: i spent it all last night-

lego ninjago: huh?

make xing gay again: OKAY there was that nice restaurant and the food was delicious but the portions were so small so-

lego ninjago: disappointed but not surprised

lego ninjago: how are the other elrics?

make xing gay again: GOOD. their dad is a little bit weird vut good weird ykno? he loves those boys 

make xing gay again: i can tell tho edward kinda hates him. theres probably a reason for that but idkkk

lego ninjago: edward?

make xing gay again: the short guy

lego ninjago: ahh i c. what about the other one? he looks decent at least.

make xing gay again: oh alphonse! hes good! hes so calm and nice idk i like his vibes

lego ninjago: vIbEs hide ur gayness sir

make xing gay again: NOO I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. al is cool but no hes just a sweet guy thats all! and he has a boyfriend!

lego ninjago: dammit i thought u would find urself a man...

make xing gay again: i dont like the way u pretend edward doesn’t exist

lego ninjago: wayamite. THE PUNY BITCH?

lego ninjago: ur taste is shit get urself a new brain

make xing gay again: aksksjd shush i never told i liked him. i just. damn

lego ninjago: oh god

lego ninjago: something really gay happened right?

make xing gay again: no we just had three hours before the dinner so ed was like well shit lets show u our house

make xing gay again: and when we went to his room

make xing gay again: well

make xing gay again: its like i got to meet edward elric™

lego ninjago: im so homophobic just tell me what happened

lego ninjago: also when u are nervous you use “well” all the time u weirdo

make xing gay again: HES PAINTING HIS CEILING AS THE NIGHT SKY!!! and hes super into astronomy AAAA

lego ninjago: oh god

make xing gay again: IKR?!? we spent all those three hours talking about constellations and pls that was soo sweet

lego ninjago: congrats u found ur soulmate

make xing gay again: aojdakdkd its not like that

make xing gay again: i just- idk that was so easy talking to him you know? and the most confusing part is that both teasing and star-stanning parts of him are co existing so naturally? hes literally one of the most mysterious boys ive ever met in my life but i like it about him

lego ninjago: you are so adorable godbless

lego ninjago: so elrics are good?

make xing gay again: yep.

make xing gay again: now its time to work though

lego ninjago: is it just me or you don’t sound really excited?

make xing gay again: ye im just. idk i just imagined what could’ve happen if my mission here was different. i enjoyed this day really much and i don’t remember when was the last time i had so much fun

make xing gay again: i mean we had a lot of fun together but last two months really stressed the shot out of me and we aren’t even half through our mission

lego ninjago: im sorry ling

lego ninjago: i wish i could hug u rn

lego ninjago: thats why we are doing this after all

lego ninjago: so other kiddos here were able to have fun

make xing gay again: i know

make xing gay again: but sometimes i wish i weren’t the one for this mission

make xing gay again: responsibility sucks balls

lego ninjago: true.

lego ninjago: ily ling you know that right? good night and sleep well!

make xing gay again: ilyt bby and good night <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOO here we are!!! english is not my first language so pls feel free to tell me about mistakes here!
> 
> im so excited to write this! i mean EDLING!!! CHATFIC!!! PANINYA AND WINRY ARE TOGETHER HERE!!! LING AND LAN FAN ARE BABIES!!!
> 
> please leave comments and kuddos and tell me what you guys think about this chapter!
> 
> i know some parts of this fic can be really confusing but i’ll explain it in the following chapters so stay tuned for moreee
> 
> thanks for reading this ❤


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically? just characters saying fuck racism lives anD lan fan is back at it again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> halfmetal - edward  
> pure angel - alphonse  
> edward lovebot - winry  
> found myself a mechanic - paninya  
> greedy and proud - greed
> 
> make xing gay again - ling  
> lego ninjago - lan fan

_[ **le squad** chat]_

halfmetal: rip als boyfriend

edward lovebot: WHAT

found myself a mechanic: WHAT

halfmetal: greed called ling the squinty eyes and hohenheim went on 30 minutes long rant about racism

edward lovebot: okay but pERIODDD

found myself a mechanic: thats when i decided to stan your dad

halfmetal: i cant believe im saying it but... king shit

pure angel: i wish u told it our dad directly

halfmetal: bruh he would think we are besties now

halfmetal: not gonna happen

found myself a mechanic: wait what was lings reaction?

halfmetal: he told greed that he still could choose a good outfit even with his eyes fully closed

halfmetal: wanna mention that greeds todays outfit is literally a fashion DISASTER

edward lovebot: AOAHSHAJ FUCK I LOVE LING ALREADY

edward lovebot: HE DIDNT HAVE TO SNAP LIKE THAT

found myself a mechanic: i know we were greed stans first humans second but fuck it im in team ling now

halfmetal: we were stanning greed?!? since when?

edward lovebot: i mean

edward lovebot: hes als boyfriend we dont need any more reasons for that

halfmetal: like heck

halfmetal: he must be decent

halfmetal: and caring

halfmetal: supportive

halfmetal: thoughtful

halfmetal: open-minded

found myself a mechanic: we got it sir

found myself a mechanic: stop

halfmetal: hope so :)

_[ **private message** between pure angel and greedy and proud]_

pure angel: heyy bbyyyy

pure angel: u got home already?

greedy and proud: heye

greedy and proud: yeth

greedy and proud: miss u sm already

pure angel: damn me too the fuck

pure angel: u alright?

greedy and proud: why wouldn’t i?

pure angel: u seemed embarrassed when u were leaving?

greedy and proud: well fuck big surprise

greedy and proud: that was the first time your dad got angry at me

greedy and proud: WE ARE DATING FOR TWO YEARS IVE NEVER MADE HIM ANGRY

pure angel: PAUSKJD HE WASNT ANGRY PLS

greedy and proud: but... he was.

pure angel: no? trust me he knows better than being angry at someone uneducated. hatred doesnt change shit.

pure angel: he just wanted you to understand that racism isn’t good

greedy and proud: well im not a racist? i didnt mean any bad calling ur exchange gay that name i was just fucking around

pure angel: first of all it can be like that. u dont mean any bad but still hurt people. thats why educating urself is very important here.

pure angel: second of all WYM GAY?

greedy and proud: okay. what i realized now is that im very bad at studying so pls can we pull a movies-about-racism night? i want to be a decent human being

greedy and proud: AND WYM WYM??!? HAVE U SEEN THE WAY HE WAS LOOKING AT ED?

pure angel: ofc greed im so happy to help you with that

pure angel: WYM WYM WYM??? HE WASNT?

greedy and proud: HE WAS. SAME HUNGRY EXPRESSION HE LOOKS AT HIS FOOD WITH

greedy and proud: i quickly became homophobic

greedy and proud: that guy is so obvious u just have your gaydars in a very bad condition. ask ur wrench girl to fix it

pure angel: bruh im processing things...

pure angel: do u think ed likes ling?

greedy and proud: ask himself wont ya

pure angel: its EDWARD we are talking about idiot

greedy and proud: oh ye i forgot

greedy and proud: well idk? ur brother is an enigma to me i cant read him

greedy and proud: who knows what’s happening in that little head of his

pure angel: hes good at hiding his true feelings ill give u that

pure angel: i just fucking hope The Incident™ wont happen again

greedy and proud: oh dear hoping and praying

greedy and proud: ed looked like shit back then and u told me it wasn’t even his lowest...

greedy and proud: god save edward elric

pure angel: aww look at my lovely boyfriend caring about my lovely brother i may start crying

greedy and proud: pussy

pure angel: and that is on toxic masculinity

greedy and proud: ... wot now?

pure angel: JESUS U ARE LITERALLY THE MOST UNCULTURED PERSON EVER

pure angel: tomorrow six pm at yours we gon get that knowledge in your nonexistent brain

greedy and proud: thats how u love me i see now....

pure angel: i love you sooo much but its just embarrassing to watch luv

greedy and proud: love you too nerd(((

_[ **private message** between make xing gay again and lego ninjago]_

lego ninjago: hows it going?

make xing gay again: hewwo to you too lan fan :(

lego ninjago: oh god don’t start this

lego ninjago: have you found anything?

make xing gay again: ITS BEEN A WEEK ?!?

lego ninjago: you are one of the smartest people ive ever met i can have some expectations,,,

make xing gay again: you do know about five people sis

make xing gay again: im not that smart

make xing gay again: i wish u could see elric brothers

make xing gay again: they are the definition of “prodigies”

make xing gay again: im a piece of dead wood infested with termites compared to them

lego ninjago: i mean i COULD see them ;)))

make xing gay again: no

lego ninjago: ;((((

lego ninjago: im just so worried

lego ninjago: i hate being here

lego ninjago: i always was on your side

make xing gay again: you still are

make xing gay again: just in our country

make xing gay again: any news from there btw?

lego ninjago: nah

lego ninjago: emperor is losing his mind

lego ninjago: and those pathetic princes and princesses cant stop licking his ass

lego ninjago: the chang clan is rather active these days tho

make xing gay again: you think they might be up to something?

lego ninjago: they are in deep shit with all this heir thing going on so its not like they have any power here

lego ninjago: but i wouldn’t be surprised?

make xing gay again: keep an eye on them then

make xing gay again: we cant afford going against anyone rn

lego ninjago: will do

lego ninjago: good luck with your research

make xing gay again: you too!

make xing gay again: stay safe there < 3

lego ninjago: same goes for you fucker! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn what incident are they talking about,,,, thinking,,,, and what is ling's research hmm,,,,,,,,,,,,,
> 
> also! my greed here is one year older than alphonse, and he looks as a teenager version of dublith greed
> 
> thank you for kuddos and for reading this! i hate writing first chapters but i need to set up the plot dont i( anyway it will get more interesting soon xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter 1 ling: nooo im not falling for ed  
> chapter 2 ling: nooo im not fall-  
> chapter 3 ling: nooo i fell for ed((((((((((((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> halfmetal - edward  
> pure angel - alphonse  
> edward lovebot - winry  
> found myself a mechanic - paninya
> 
> make xing gay again/ling yao - ling  
> lego ninjago - lan fan

_[ **le squad** chat]_

found myself a mechanic: sup dickheads

halfmetal: wow

pure angel: hello pah nee nya

pure angel: we are fine

pure angel: wbu?

edward lovebot: we are good too

edward lovebot: but its been a very fucking long day

edward lovebot: i cant feel my legs

found myself a mechanic: u know what could help us…

found myself a mechanic: some hot tea ;)

pure angel: is this your way to ask about ling?

edward lovebot: lowkey)

halfmetal: THE FREAK IS A NERD!!! he spends all his time in the unis library

halfmetal: its just hilarious i think i saw him TWICE in a span of two weeks

halfmetal: that time at the family dinner with greed and yesterday in the kitchen

pure angel: somehow ive ran into him more than you and you know what? it ALWAYS HAPPENED IN THE KITCHEN

pure angel: it feels like hes always eating

pure angel: if our dad didn’t tell us ling spent all his time studying id think he was just trying out local cuisine going to every cafe nearby

halfmetal: but hes so skinny doe... h o w?

found myself a mechanic: bro i wish i had that kind of metabolism

found myself a mechanic: also ed does that mean u want to see him more?)?)0)??

found myself a mechanic: as i recall ur dad mentioned ling was here specifically to study

halfmetal: fuck u

halfmetal: no

halfmetal: i know that its just

halfmetal: he spends ALL OF HIS TIME studying

edward lovebot: well well how the turn tables

edward lovebot: now u know what it was like to see u twice a week bc u guys spent all your time studying

found myself a mechanic: karma is a bitch

halfmetal: i hate it here

pure angel: guys we had REASONS to study.

pure angel: and ling is here to write a thesis on amestris history

pure angel: he has next five months for that so why wouldn’t he enjoy his summertime here

halfmetal: ex-fucking-actly

found myself a mechanic: yall just mad bc u made the whole STUDYING-TILL-WE-DYING thing your only personality trait but turns out yous aint special

edward lovebot: touché

halfmetal: im hurt

al: im wounded

pure angel: also i had a really long day as well so im gonna sleep now

pure angel: good nightttt

edward lovebot: aksksaks sorry boys you are dumb but we love you! good nightt sleep well

found myself a mechanic: gn hoes love yous

halfmetal: good night the rudest chat in the amestris history<3

_[ **private message** between make xing gay again and lego ninjago]_

lego ninjago: have u ever considered ed hating his dad being somehow related to his loss of limbs

make xing gay again: i swear- HELLO LAN FAN

lego ninjago: ye ye hello u too

make xing gay again: i mean... it does make sense but also it doesn’t

lego ninjago: explain?

make xing gay again: what about alphonse then? hes kind to everyone unless someone’s mean to his brother and it doesn’t look like he doesn’t trust his dad 

lego ninjago: i see. idk maybe it’s wasn’t entirely hohenheim’s fault? and alphonse forgave him and the puny chose to act like a bitch?

make xing gay again: damnn its so hard

make xing gay again: but im gonna figure that out

lego ninjago: of course you will ling

lego ninjago: you are smart as fuck

lego ninjago: btw any news on alchemy?

make xing gay again: nah. they have it mentioned in the history books but it isn’t enough

lego ninjago: okay thats sounds like a bad plan but- have u tried to talk to edward? or any other elric?

make xing gay again: about alchemy? idk i think that would be suspicious

lego ninjago: i have this feeling like the elrics might help u

make xing gay again: i cant just go to edward right now and ask him about alchemy can i? the guy seems to see right thru me

lego ninjago: but u can always just talk to him and get him to trust you? honestly i dont like that u chose the bitchy one as ur tool but that will probably do

make xing gay again: HES NOT MY TOOL

make xing gay again: i dont want to use these boys lan fan

make xing gay again: they are my host family

make xing gay again: i know that ive been using them for all this time but

make xing gay again: i hate lying to them they seem like a good family

lego ninjago: i really cant help u here sorry

lego ninjago: i know its hard for you ling

lego ninjago: but i dont think we have a choice here

make xing gay again: i really signed my death sentence by coming here didn’t i

lego ninjago: im sorry

lego ninjago: its not a death sentence though you just have to make sacrifices 

lego ninjago: and this is a rather small sacrifice dont you think?

make xing gay again: it doesn’t make it easier

_[ **edward elric support squad he doesn’t need to know about** chat]_

pure angel: girls

pure angel: who texted ed?

found myself a mechanic: bitch whatcha doing here go to sleep

found myself a mechanic: also that wasn’t me

found myself a mechanic: and winry is here sleeping it wasn’t her either

pure angel: then why did he just chuckle

found myself a mechanic: maybe hes watching memes?

pure angel: no i heard a message notification

pure angel: it woke me up

pure angel: WTF HE JUST GOT UP AND LEFT OUR ROOM?

found myself a mechanic: i swear its not me?!?

found myself a mechanic: also i thought u two had your own rooms?

pure angel: he just painted a new constellation so the smell wont let him sleep there

found myself a mechanic: the bitch promised to keep us updated but ig he said fuck paninya and winry lives

found myself a mechanic: so he left?

pure angel: ye

pure angel: wayament

pure angel: i think hes on the roof

pure angel: and hes talking to someone

found myself a mechanic: IS DAT LING

pure angel: i think so ::.

found myself a mechanic: winry is YELLING

pure angel: u woke her up?

edward lovebot: no she gasped so loud i woke up thinking she was choking

pure angel: aksjksdj damn

edward lovebot: so our sexy boy is having a date then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

found myself a mechanic: the fuck?!? that was too fast

pure angel: not to be a party pooper here but can we pretend we dont know about this night da-whatever-it-is-te?

pure angel: i mean if he never mentions it

edward lovebot: okie

found myself a mechanic: still thinking how it took ed TWO WEEKS to get a boyfriend

pure angel: a friend*

pure angel: pls dont bully him into having a boyfriend pleasepleaseplease

pure angel: i know you mean no harm but i think hes not ready for that

edward lovebot: you are so sweet and okay i agree we shouldn’t tease ed about it too much

found myself a mechanic: i hate that you guys make sense rn but roger that

found myself a mechanic: what i love about us doe is that we just collectively decided ed was into boys

edward lovebot: you have seen him right? he has le Vibes™

_10 minutes earlier_

_[ **private message** between ling yao and halfmetal]_

ling yao: hey ed

ling yao: you up?

halfmetal: wtf its 2am

halfmetal: how do u know my number

halfmetal: also no im sleeping

ling yao: i dont care, im a telepath, u aint

ling yao: lets stargaze together

halfmetal: eye-

halfmetal: u crazy

ling yao: u coming?

ling yao: im on the roof

halfmetal: HOW ARE U ON THE ROOF I HAVENT HEARD ANY NOISES

ling yao: well my only friend in xing is a ninja ig that rubbed off on me

halfmetal: haha funny

ling yao: edddd

ling yao: ophiuchus is soo visible tonight pls

ling yao: that’s probably my fav constellation

ling yao: thanks to all those legends about asclepius

halfmetal: OPHIUCHUS?!??

halfmetal: wym it wasn’t supposed to be visible tonight

halfmetal: the brightest night is the day after tomorrow on 9pm

ling yao: thats bullshit

ling yao: u amestrians aint shit in calculation

ling yao: its tonight

halfmetal: no? its on the internet as well its THIS SUNDAY not today

ling yao: oN The InTerNeT bitch who said that? reddit user StarsMakeMeHard? u really trust people on there?

ling yao: we have a long history of studying astronomy in xing and you really made us THIS dirty

ling yao: get ur ass here

ling yao: u wont regret it ed i promise

halfmetal: okay okay but im 99,99% sure you are wrong

ling yao: that 0,01% of your trust means a lot to me thank you

_[ **private message** between make xing gay again and lego ninjago]_

make xing gay again: im a motherfucking asshole

make xing gay again: but edward looks so good in the moonlight

make xing gay again: lan fan i want to h*ld h*s h*nd so bad

lego ninjago: my eyes are closed and i cant see

lego ninjago: wait

lego ninjago: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IN THE MOONLIGHT

lego ninjago: LING?!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the reason this entire fic was written sooo cant wait to share it with you!
> 
> thanks for kuddos! they do be giving me motivation to write this < 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just gays being gaes

_[ **private message** between make xing gay again and lego ninjago]_

make xing gay again: oh hi there

lego ninjago: U IDIOT HAVENT REALLY LEFT ME ON READ FOR TWELVE HOURS

make xing gay again: eye-

make xing gay again: im sorry i was having the time of my life and then i fell asleep and when i woke up i was hungry af so

lego ninjago: no words cant describe how homophobic i am rn

make xing gay again: :(

lego ninjago: so how is edward :)

make xing gay again: damn u aint playing around

make xing gay again: the night was amazing! like honestly!

lego ninjago: what was it even about?

make xing gay again: well i wanted to follow ur advice and try to build trust so i asked him to go stargaze with me

make xing gay again: i haven’t learned anything useful but i still feel like shit for tricking ed like this

make xing gay again: however this stargazing session was the best experience in my life

make xing gay again: we were just talking about stars and constellations and it felt sooo good and soo natural

make xing gay again: is that what teenagers usually do bc damn i envy them

lego ninjago: lemme get something straight

make xing gay again: that would be the only straight thing about us

lego ninjago: when u tell me about ed you want me to react as

lego ninjago: a) your friend, saying YAAYYY U SLAYED KING GO GET THIS BOY

lego ninjago: or b) your partner, saying ling pls focus on our research this boy aint shit

make xing gay again: b-both?

make xing gay again: UGHHH I DONT K N O W

make xing gay again: its just so nice with him you know? i feel so understood and its like im talking to myself sometimes bc we have a lot in common

lego ninjago: scuse me

lego ninjago: you are the future Emperor of Xing who can fluently speak five languages and have mastered five different martial arts

lego ninjago: the person you are talking about is a tiny runt who cant even get his shit together with his own dad

make xing gay again: DONT SELL HIM SO SHORT LAN FAN

lego ninjago: so a friendly way it is

make xing gay again: im sorry i just

make xing gay again: fuck

make xing gay again: hes just so good?

make xing gay again: i know it’s pointless to catch feelings rn but i cant help but feel like we have something special here

lego ninjago: ling you know i love you right? you are like a brother to me and i will support you no matter what

lego ninjago: but what i see here is that you are about to lose your true way

lego ninjago: please just

make xing gay again: just what?

lego ninjago: dont forget who you are

_[ **private message** between halfmetal and pure angel]_

halfmetal: hey al

halfmetal: al

halfmetal: ALPHONSE

halfmetal: u up?

pure angel: no im still sleeping))0)00))

pure angel: whats up brother?

halfmetal: how did u know you liked boys

pure angel: uhm

pure angel: wanna elaborate on why u asking me this or-

halfmetal: no.

halfmetal: okay its been like three minutes im sorry that was really out of blue nvm

pure angel: IVE BEEN WRITING A WHOLE ASS ESSAY HERE U JACKASS BETTER SHOW SOME RESPECT

pure angel: oksy so i think I lowkey always knew? ofc when i was like 7-8 i was mOrE iNtO GIrlS but then i just saw a cute boy and that was an eye-opening experience. and then there was this “compulsory heterosexuality or internalized panphobia” phase but rn it doesn’t really matter bc i have greed and i really like him? i know for a fact im not faking anything.

pure angel: okay its not even that big but i needed to choose the right words

halfmetal: i-

halfmetal: yes im a jackass im sorry

halfmetal: but what about girls?

pure angel: like do i still feel attraction to them? ye i mean im pansexual after all

pure angel: fucking pots and pans muah ^*^

halfmetal: pansexual?

halfmetal: theres no way you are throwing all those new words at me pls have mercy

pure angel: in a nutshell i like both girls and boys. i just like people you know? people are great!

halfmetal: isn’t it called bisexuality?

pure angel: thats a different thing. bi people also like both girls and boys and trans people but they dont feel attracted to all genders? and even if they do they still like... notice gender? not like that’s a bad thing you know

pure angel: its not about OHH SHE HAS A VAGINA GOOD FOR ME noticing its more about ohh im in love with a G I R L!

pure angel: and pansexual people just couldn’t care less about gender seriously. i just saw Greed and was like oh uh fuck im in love

pure angel: im sorry if it doesnt make any cents its kinda hard to explain but bi and pan arent the same thing 

halfmetal: im confusion

halfmetal: but i lowkey get it?

pure angel: yayyy

pure angel: so... why were u asking me about it?

halfmetal: honestly idk i just woke up and somehow ended up at this bottom called “figuring out my sexuality”

pure angel: aldjakdjkajsks

pure angel: did something happen? some EyE-OpEniNg ExpEriEncE

halfmetal: i hate u.

halfmetal: and eyes- they are gross pls stay mf closed

halfmetal: idk? maybe but im not sure-

pure angel: is it about ling?

halfmetal: i really pretend i cannot see bro

pure angel: what happened?)

halfmetal: well u see... we were stargazing together... and idk it just felt so nice? and at some point our hands brushed and although i got that gay panic i also wanted more?

pure angel: oh

pure angel: well whats the problem then?

halfmetal: i dont recall me ever thinking about boys like that before? it fucks me up. also i thought im into girls and i still am but now i do be thinking about this one boy so like-

pure angel: so u admit u got ur first crush on a boy and that boy happened to be our exchange student ling?

halfmetal: no. i mean idk? i kinda like him but i dont know him IDK EVERYTHING IS CONFUSING

halfmetal: and about the whole first crush on a boy thing... theres something i need to tell you.

pure angel: im scared but okay im all ears

halfmetal: ik you guys just collectively decided to never mention the Incident™ and im kinda relieved u did. but as we never really talked about it theres this thing...

halfmetal: i got so sad not bc those guys lied to me. its more like

halfmetal: fuck

halfmetal: i need to say it do i

halfmetal: but then it’ll become real and i dont want it

pure angel: if you dont wanna say it now thats fine brother

pure angel: u can still take your time

halfmetal: nah its been two years

halfmetal: okay

halfmetal: i think i liked russel

pure angel: wait russel- as the older brother?

halfmetal: ye,,

halfmetal: its not like i wanted to make out with him or stuff

halfmetal: i never got enough time to figure out my feelings and then it was too late but i think i had something for him

pure angel: wait im so sorry ed

pure angel: now that you’ve told me that it explains a lot

pure angel: im sorry that u had to go through this alone

halfmetal: thank you

halfmetal: and no, i wasnt alone! even if never really talked i still had you and the girls and even our dad and greed so

halfmetal: and now we are here with feelings for girls and boys and its so confusing

halfmetal: i just.. i wish i had a word for it you know? to feel more valid? to feel more real? like honestly give me a label

pure angel: thats not dumb at all!! i also had this phase that’s totally fine! what about bi? or pan?

halfmetal: idk i just said that out loud and it didn’t sound very “me”

halfmetal: OuT LoUd no moron u whispered it

pure angel: and you like boys and girls?

halfmetal: kinda?

pure angel: i mean you can just use achillean... it stands not for gays exclusively but for a man or masculine-aligned person whos attracted to other men or men-aligned people. see? this one means u dont have to figure out ur relationship with the opposite gender asap AND it points out that you like men

halfmetal: achillean huh

halfmetal: wait its kinda cute

halfmetal: WAIT ITS SO GOOD

halfmetal: i love saying it out loud

pure angel: whispering out loud*

halfmetal: anjdksjdksjd

halfmetal: uhm thank you? like seriously

halfmetal: i was so confused before

halfmetal: its not like i understand everything now but its much easier

pure angel: you’re literally welcome pls feel free to ask me stuff thats totally fine

pure angel: the worst thing u can do rn is to keep it all to yourself and rot in all those questions

pure angel: im not forcing you to share everything with me but you know that im always here right?

halfmetal: thats so sappy wtf

halfmetal: ily bitch

pure angel: ily too bitch who has a very specific taste in men aka disasters of a man.

halfmetal: at least i fall for smart men. what can greed do? say hi im greed,19 and i never learned how to fucking read?

pure angel: JAHSJHAKWJE I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A POINT HERE

pure angel: what are you planning to do with ling?

halfmetal: uhm.. wym?

pure angel: do some Moves™ and get that boy?

halfmetal: i can pretend i dont see and wait for him to make the first step... i can right?

pure angel: gays are useless istg

halfmetal: stop bullying gays thats not sexy

halfmetal: a) i have no experience b) that shit is scary c) i have no experience and zero information and i have a brain of a scientist I NEED MORE DATA

pure angel: bro u aint getting any experience just sitting still

halfmetal: ik but pls al its like im discovering another world

pure angel: exactly what u wanted when u were six doe

halfmetal: i wanted to find a parallel universe where everything would be the same except the colors of the curtains or shit like this

halfmetal: what we have HERE is the same shitty universe but gayer

pure angel: gay universe is not shitty doe i love lgbt community

pure angel: straight people scary me

halfmetal: everyone is scary

pure angel: true

pure angel: also ed?

halfmetal: yea?

pure angel: im really proud of you. and (ye again) thank you for telling me about the russel thing. i kinda used to wonder but i never wanted to assume stuff so there were a lot of unanswered questions.

pure angel: now your behavior makes more sense

halfmetal: first of all u are the cheesiest asshole ily

halfmetal: second of all i would ask about mY BeHavIoR but i dont want to hear the answer

halfmetal: third of all dont tell girls? its not like i expected you to out me but just to make things clear yk

pure angel: djsjakjdka ilyt brother

pure angel: and of course! u have my word here.

_[ **private message** between make xing gay again and lego ninjago]_

lego ninjago: LING

lego ninjago: LING THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

make xing gay again: you always scare the shit out of me i swear

make xing gay again: wait

make xing gay again: whats up?

lego ninjago: we were informed that five chang’s men just left Xing and headed to the Xerxes.

lego ninjago: so far its hard to tell if they are planning on going to amestris but who knows

make xing gay again: fuck

lego ninjago: ling thats it

lego ninjago: im going to amestris

make xing gay again: THERE IS NO POINT IN YOU COMING HERE RN

make xing gay again: sit your dumb ass still right in xing

make xing gay again: we dont know anything for sure

make xing gay again: you’re coming here only in case of emergency

lego ninjago: this IS an emergency idiot

make xing gay again: its not

make xing gay again: they are not here and i still have plenty of time

make xing gay again: they have to cross a desert and lemme tell you it takes some time

lego ninjago: ling

make xing gay again: lan fan no

make xing gay again: unless there is a dagger pointed to my head you are staying in Xing

make xing gay again: that’s the order

lego ninjago: i really hate it when your ass pulls “IM IM CHARGE HERE” card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is looowkey a filler, but ive mentioned it before that it was the first thing i wrote for this fic so,,,
> 
> oh also if you think you saw a reference to skam/druck - you really did)))
> 
> OHH ALSO thank you sooo much for your kuddos! i didnt pass my exam and your kuddos really made my day a little bit better!


End file.
